I recently read a list of secrets that waiters won’t tell you on Reader’s Digest’s site. Since it was a slideshow and a giant pain in the ass to click through, I posted the secrets below, followed by my response to them.
Coffee Switching
In most restaurants, after 8 p.m. or so, all the coffee is decaf because no one wants to clean two different coffeepots. I’ll bring out a tray with 12 coffees on it and give some to the customers who ordered regular, others to the ones who ordered decaf. But they’re all decaf.
-Charity Ohlund
I’m sure every server has been guilty of this at some point. I’ve even seen servers run out of coffee and top it off with hot water. I usually don’t do this but I won’t hesitate to microwave coffee that isn’t piping hot (it takes 10 minutes for a new pot and I usually don’t have time to wait). I have never given someone regular coffee that requested decaf but may have topped off regular coffee with decaf once of twice.
Additional Sugar in Kid’s Meals
We put sugar in our kids’ meals so kids will like them more. Seriously. We even put extra sugar in the dough for the kids’ pizzas.
-Waitress at a well-known pizza chain
I have no idea how adding more sugar to something like french fries or a grilled cheese sandwich is even possible. I’ve seen how limited children’s menus are. I know they are mostly deep fried and void of any nutritional value already. I could see adding more fat but sugar? Seems far-fetched to me.
Vegetarian Options
If you’re a vegetarian and you ask if we use vegetable stock, I’m going to say yes, even if we don’t. You’ll never know the difference.
Most servers will be honest when you ask a direct question about vegetarian options – unless you are rude. Even if you are rude, I will still be honest when you ask me a direct question. I may, however, pretend to not pick up on the fact that you are vegetarian and allow you to order something that contains meat if you are rude to me. My awesome listening skills are reserved for people who are nice and considerate.
The Specials Aren’t That Special
At a lot of restaurants, the special is whatever they need to sell before it goes bad. Especially watch out for the soup of the day. If it contains fish or if it’s some kind of ‘gumbo,’ it’s probably the stuff they’re trying to get rid of.
-Kathy Kniss, who waited tables for ten years in Los Angeles
I agree with this fact. Our restaurant orders stuff especially for specials but a lot of places don’t do this. When things are about to expire, we have specials that are even more special.
Everyone Fondles The Lemons
Now that I’ve worked in a restaurant, I never ask for lemon in a drink. Everybody touches them. Nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea.
-Charity Ohlund, Kansas City waitress
Yes, when staff members cut lemons, they do touch them. I doubt they are washed before or after. When the servers get them, though, we generally use tongs – bartenders almost never use tongs and they wash their hands less frequently.
Calorie Counting
If you ask me how many calories are in a particular dish, I’m not allowed to tell you even if I know. I’m supposed to say, ‘All that information is available online.’
-Waitress at a well-known pizza chain
I doubt anyone knows the calorie count of any dish. I’ve never heard of not being able to tell someone if you were some freak who happened to know.
General rules:
if it’s in a restaurant, it’s a lot.
if it’s fried, it’s more.
if you’re on a diet, stay home or eat somewhere with healthy choices and calories noted on the menu.
Credit Card Declined
I’ve never seen anybody do anything to your food, but I have seen servers mess with your credit card. If a server doesn’t like you, he might try to embarrass you in front of your business associate or date by bringing your credit card back and saying, ‘Do you have another card? This one didn’t go through.’?-Charity Ohlund
I have seen some people & heard some stories of people doing stuff to your food (not at my current employers since we have food runners). In every case, it was because the customer was a complete jerkwad. I’m not saying it was deserved, I’m just saying that you should consider being nice to your server. I guess I could see someone attempting to embarrass you by pretending your credit card is declined but I have never witnessed it. It seems like a dumb idea since it prevents you from getting an annoying person out of your station right away.
The Skinny on Skim Milk
Skim milk is almost never skim milk. Very few restaurants outside Starbucks carry whole milk, 2 percent milk, skim milk, and half-and-half; it’s just not practical.
-Chris
Why wouldn’t the server just tell you what type of milk is available (i.e. we only have 2% milk)?
Salad Dressing Isn’t Made In-house
Some places buy salad dressings in one-gallon jars, then add a few ingredients, like a blue cheese crumble or fresh herbs, and call it homemade on the menu.
-Former waiter Jake Blanton, who spent ten years in restaurants in Virginia, North Carolina, and California
First of all, Hidden Valley Ranch is the shit. How can you top that? Yes, we do use it but we never lie about it and claim that we make it ourselves. Places that do probably use the powder that you just add milk and mayo to.
Hot Tea
The single greatest way to get your waiter to hate you? Ask for hot tea. For some reason, an industry that’s managed to streamline everything else hasn’t been able to streamline that. You’ve got to get a pot, boil the water, get the lemons, get the honey, bring a cup and spoon. It’s a lot of work for little reward.
-Christopher Fehlinger, maître d’ at a popular New York City restaurant
I love hot tea, with breakfast or when I have a cold. I only order it at places that are known for breakfast though- like Ihop or Denny’s. I hate making it and so does every other server on the planet.
Pooling Tips
In many restaurants, the tips are pooled, so if you have a bad experience with the server, you’re stiffing the bartender who made your drinks, the water boy who poured your water, sometimes the hostess, the food runners, and maybe the other waiters.
-Christopher Fehlinger
This really doesn’t matter. You tip the waiter based on your experience and your experience is based primarily on the interaction you have with them. Regardless of how tips are distributed your tip should be the same.
One thing that you should really know is that the IRS assumes the server makes a certain amount in tips per hour (sometimes a percentage of their sales). If you stiff your server then they are being taxed on money that they didn’t even make. Plus, they usually have to give money to support staff (based on their sales) that they didn’t even make by waiting on you.
Eggs From a Powder
Even at the best breakfast buffet in the world, 99 times out of 100, the big pan of scrambled eggs is made from a powder.
-Jake Blanton
I’ve never worked at a buffet and those eggs always gross me out – this explains why.
Blaming the Server
People think that just because your food took a long time, it’s the server’s fault. Nine times out of ten, it’s the kitchen. Or it’s the fact that you ordered a well-done burger.
-Judi Santana
It is almost always the kitchen’s fault or your own for ordering something extra, extra well done or with ridiculously complex special instructions.
Not Your Wife
When you’re with the woman who’s not your wife, you’re a lot nicer to us, probably because you know that we know it’s not your wife.
-Caroline Radaj, waitress at a members-only club outside Milwaukee
Not sure this is even true.
Become A Regular
It’s much easier to be recognized as a regular on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays. Once you’re recognized as a regular, good things start to happen. You’ll find your wineglass gets filled without being put on your bill, or the chef might bring you a sample.
-Christopher Fehlinger
Being a regular doesn’t mean that you get free shit. It’s still a business. I can still get fired for giving away stuff instead of selling it. You will get better service if you are a regular, who tips well. If you are a regular who is a constant pain in the ass, I will go to the hostess stand and seat you in someone else’s station. If you ask for a table in my station, I will lie and say I’m about to take a break or leave for the day. Then I will walk by you every five minutes until you figure out that I lied.
Holiday Diners
Avoid Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day like the black plague. It’s crazy busy, so they’re not going to be able to pay as much attention to quality. Plus, they bring out a special menu where everything is overpriced.
-Steve Dublanica
True. Take your special someone out on a day that isn’t so cliche. The same goes for Friday and Saturday nights.
Order For Your Child
If the restaurant is busy and your child is shy, please order for him. Kids can sit there forever trying to decide, or they whisper and you can’t hear them. Meanwhile, the people at the next table are yelling at you to come over.
-Derek Dudley, a waiter at a casual pizza restaurant in Phoenix
Discuss dining options with your kid before you get to the restaurant. Order for him/her if they are hard to understand or too shy to speak up. Also, don’t let them run around or make a mess.
Tipping
The best tippers tend to be middle-class or people who have worked for everything they have, not the really wealthy or the kid who inherited the trust fund. Which is not to say that we mind if you use coupons. But when you do, tip on the amount the bill would have been without them.
-Judi Santana
All true. Tip on the pre-discounted amount. Also, when you pay part of the check in cash and the remainder on the card, tip on the ENTIRE total.
For instance: $100 check
$50 in cash
$50 on card.
Person with card automatically puts 20% on the credit card amount, not factoring in the fact that the entire bill was $100. This means the tip is $10 instead of $20.
Happens all.the.time.
Tipping – First Dates
First dates, especially blind Internet dates, are great for tips. You know he’ll probably order a bottle of wine and leave a 20 to 25 percent tip because he’s showing off.
-Jeremy Burton, waiter at a grill in southwest Michigan
You know who tips better? Single men with attractive waitresses.
Ordering Fish
Don’t order fish on Sunday or Monday. The fish deliveries are usually twice a week, so Tuesday through Friday are great days. Or ask the restaurant when they get theirs.
-Steve Dublanica
I don’t see the big deal. You would buy fish at the market and cook it at your house two days later, right?
Source: waitingvegas
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